Thursday, June 02, 2005

Peec tulkoshanas

Juutos mazlietinj nogurusi, bet savaa zinjaa laimiiga. ja vien nebuutu apkaartnee tik ljoti skalji, lai gan patiesiibaa (taa godiigi atziistoties) man patiik, ka ir tieshi tik ljoti skalji. Ka var nedomaat, lai arii straadaajot skaljums taa kaa pat trauceeja. Tachu citaadaak - muuzika, ja vie ne tu tuc, tad ir klausaama. Klusums ir patiikams, bet meedz buut biedeejoshs. Es parasti tad bezjeegaa aizdomaajos un nu vairs nezinu, vai tas ir taa veerts.
Gribeeju paklausiities kaut ko no sava, bet ir par skalju. Un tomeer tas netraucee, mangandriiz vai ir sajuuta, ka es meegjinu atrast sev ko trauceejoshu, bet patiesiiba ir taada, ka man ir vienalga. vai varbuut driizaak patiesi buutu atziit, ka mani pashu patiesiiba nerausta ne vismazaakajaa meeraa. Tikai Tu shodien runaaji par vienladziibu un man piemiit bezgala slikta iipashiiba piesavinaaties apkaarteejo vaardus, pasaules uztveres, noskanjas utt. Protams, tas tai mirklii ir tikai un vieniigi teels, kuraa iejusties un kuru sniegts origjinaalpieredzes atraadiitaajam, lai kaut uz mirkli buutu taada pati kaa vinjsh. No otras puses - tas, kaa vakar izteicaas dazhs labs - vienaa mirklii tu saproti, ka nav jeegas turpinaat attieciibas, jo otrs cilveeks praktiski nekad nav patiess. Tad shis otrs nepaartraukti mainaas un patiesuma tur nav........skumji. Taados mirkljos es aizdomaajos, kur lai sevi liek, ja taa izskatas. No otras puses - tas mani uztrauc tikai tiktaal, kameer patiesums/nepatiesums ietekmee manas izredzes kaadam iepatikties vai arii dziivoshanu ar sho kaadu. Citaadi - ja tam otram mana nepastaaviiba un teelu lietoshana ir pilniibaa pienjemama, tad laikam tas mani neuztrauc (tikai paliek sirdsapzinjas paarmetumi, tachu tie ir tikai un vieniigi sabiedriibas uzspiestaas kauna un vainas apzinjas uzspiesti, taa kaa to var neskaitiit). Bet visumaa laikam man pietiek. Gribu prom - sheit ir par daudz tautas, paaraak skalji (tas ir, music just isn't mine - un to es saku ar taadu viegli snobisku teelu).
Pietiek, ja buutu klusaax, es veel turpinaatu. Bet veel aizvien man nav skaidrs, cik ljoti driixt sniegt savu dienasgraamatu apkaartnei. Driixt - bet vai galu galaa nav vienalga?

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